I had been hanging to try out Porteño for the longest time. The thought of devouring their juicy and succulent fire-roasted meats would make my mouth water just thinking about it. However, I’d heard that you would only be able to snag a table after queuing in the street for a couple of hours, which completely put me off.

So I was very grateful for Good Food Month festivities recently, when the restaurant put on a special Spring lunch and were taking reservations! No standing around, waiting, and making small talk with your dining companions while your stomach eats itself!

Our menus informed us that each of the dishes that we would be trying were made in-house especially for the lunch. This obviously meant that we missed out on their famous crisp brussels sprouts on this visit. I guess that means I will just have to suck it up and join the queue next time!

 

Our meal started off on the right foot with a boozy pork paté, olives, crusty ciabatta slices, and this lovely bresaola, a spiced cured wagyu eye round which has been aged for 6 months.

Despite being a terrible patron and failing to inform the good folk at Porteño that one of my girlfriends was pregnant (it had just completely slipped my mind!), they were completely obliging and kindly offered chipotle stuffed zucchini flowers in place of the bresaola. The ash beetroot was my favourite of the starters, with the creamy and slightly tart curd complementing the earthy beets.

Porteño is best known for its asado, a scorching fire pit with whole lambs splayed out on racks. Alongside the barbecue is a shiny stainless steel and dark brick kitchen with hot grills and trays of smoky meat. It’s enough to give a vegetarian heart palpitations.

The Mirool Creek spring lamb is sweet, salty and tender, served with crisp skin and a fresh chopped salad and barbecued eggplant and peppers. The marbled meat is cooked for 8 hours and melts in your mouth.

Our meal was rounded off by a not-too-sweet burnt milk fruit tart and the softest, crumbliest shortbread with dulce de leche sandwiched inside. These guys must have the surgeon’s touch to put these babies together without the biscuit falling apart.

It’s all a bit of theatre seeing your meal being roasted in front of you, but the food here was faultless and the service was helpful and polite. The waitstaff were very accommodating after dropping the last-minute pregnancy bomb, and they also recommended some delicious wine choices.

Now to brave the queue next time so that I give their pork and brussels sprouts a crack. However, tables of six or more can make a reservation so…who wants to come with me?